Don't let setbacks and difficulties put you right back where you started from.

Posted: May 8, 2014

Making changes stick

Don't let setbacks and difficulties put you right back where you started from.

How many times have you started an exercise regime, or a diet, or just tried something new in your life only to meet a setback and have everything fail and go back to the way you were?

Don't worry - you're not the only one! Setbacks, problems and difficulties occur all the time; they are a natural part of life. It's the way you deal with them that makes all the difference.

So what can you do?

As the problem itself isn't going to change you'll have to change the way you respond to the problem. Dealing with the setback correctly means that not only will it cease to be a problem but you will also be filled with the self-confidence and belief that will fuel your determination to achieve what you set out to do.

When you are faced with a setback your ability to deal with it will be greatly improved if you move to a position of strength and the easiest way to do this is by asking yourself positive, empowering questions. There is an unwritten rule that says 'If I you ask your mind a negative question you will get a negative answer'. So if after a setback you ask yourself something like 'Why does this always happen to me, I never have any luck?' your mind will probably reply along the lines of 'Because you are useless and good things don't happen to you!' Perhaps this sounds familiar?

However, if you ask yourself a positive, empowering question such as 'What can I learn from this setback for next time?' your mind will move into problem-solving mode and start finding all the positives in the experience.

Once you are in problem-solving mode there are several key positive actions you can take which will make sure that you get the most out of any setback that does occur:

Acknowledge that the setback has happened. Don't hide from it. These things happen - so what?
Recognise that setbacks occur to everyone and that you are not being singled out. It's really not personal!
Treat the setback as a challenge to be overcome rather than as an unsolvable issue or problem.
Work out what positive, empowering questions you can ask yourself, and then ask them!

For example:

What is good about this situation?
How can I make the most of this situation?
What can I learn from this setback?
What are the facts about this problem?
How can I turn this into a successful outcome?
What might I do to go round or over this problem?

In the words of the song - 'accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative'!

Over the next few days jot down all the negative, demoralising thoughts you have each time you are faced with a problem or setback.Then work out for each one some positive, empowering questions that you could ask yourself instead.Read these questions frequently, internalise them and you'll be amazed at the constructive answers and ideas your brain will give you with next time you hit a seemingly 'impossible' problem or 'insurmountable' setback.