We all have occasions where we explode with anger and irritation at something that someone does that hurts or upsets us. Most of us use language that attempts to convey the level of pain or annoyance this has caused us but inevitably this leads to an escalation with insults and accusations traded on both sides.
Next time you find yourself in this situation try to pause before you speak and instead of blurting out personal criticisms and accusations try instead to articulate the effect that the other person’s behaviour has had on you. So, when your partner announces they are going out and leaving all the washing up for you to do, instead of saying “You’re so selfish, you never think of anyone but yourself” say “When you just go out and leave me to clear up it makes me feel really used and unappreciated, especially when I cooked dinner tonight”.
Giving the other person an insight into your emotional response stands a better chance of resolving the situation calmly - after all, it’s difficult to argue the case against a justified emotional reaction to unjustifiable behaviour!
