'How to Guide' to feeling confident
How you feel at any given moment is linked to three things:
- What you are focusing on.
- The way you are moving and using your body.
- The language you are using.
Anytime you need an instant confidence boost you can change the way you feel by changing these three things.
Part 3 - The language you use.
The words you say to yourself both in your mind and out loud have a major impact on how you are feeling. What words do you use to describe negative emotions?
You may well say things like:
- "I'm stupid"
- "I'm angry"
- "I'm livid"
- "I'm so overwhelmed"
- "I'm feeling really insecure"
- "I'm so depressed"
The intensity of those negative sayings will have an effect on how you feel and, particularly, whether you feel confident or not.
What if, instead of "I'm really nervous" you said to yourself "I'm really excited"?
Would it make you feel better? Almost certainly. Interestingly, the feelings and emotions linked to nervousness and excitement are actually the same - it's just a question of sending the adrenaline in the right direction.
So, what other words could you replace your negative sayings with to reduce the intensity of feelings? Try changing:
- "I'm stupid" to "I'm still learning"
- "I'm angry" to "I'm a little annoyed"
- "I'm livid" to "I'm a bit miffed"
- "I'm so overwhelmed" to "I'm quite busy"
- "I'm feeling really insecure" to "I'm not really at ease"
- "I'm so depressed" to "I'm not on top of things"
As the intensity of the words reduces so the intensity of the feelings reduces too.
If you then words such as 'yet' or 'at the moment' to your less-intense phrases you subtly introduce the idea that your present state is transitory and will very soon improve - just like your level of confidence. For example:
- "I'm stupid" to "I'm still learning at the moment"
- "I'm angry" to "I'm a little annoyed right now"
- "I'm livid" to "I'm a bit miffed just now"
- "I'm so overwhelmed" to "I'm quite busy at the moment"
- "I'm feeling really insecure" to "I'm not really at ease yet"
- "I'm so depressed" to "I'm not on top of things yet"
As with almost everything in life, practice makes perfect. Write down five negative sayings or phrases that you say or think about yourself on a regular basis and replace them with new less emotionally charged ones. Then add appropriate 'transitory' words (such as 'at the moment') and think about how better your life will be once the negative states have past.
Ralph Williams MAC, Personal Life Coach and Mentor - www.ralphwilliamslifecoaching.com
