How to Guide to feeling confident. Part 3 The language you use.

Posted: Apr 10, 2014

How to Guide to feeling confident

How you feel at any given moment is linked to three things:

What you are focusing on.
The way you are moving and using your body.
The language you are using.

Anytime you need an instant confidence boost you can change the way you feel by changing these three things.

Part 3 - The language you use.

The words you say to yourself both in your mind and out loud have a major impact on how you are feeling. What words do you use to describe negative emotions?

You may well say things like:

I m stupid

I m angry

I m livid

I m so overwhelmed

I m feeling really insecure

I m so depressed

The intensity of those negative sayings will have an effect on how you feel and, particularly, whether you feel confident or not.

What if, instead of I m really nervous you said to yourself I m really excited ?

Would it make you feel better? Almost certainly. Interestingly, the feelings and emotions linked to nervousness and excitement are actually the same - it s just a question of sending the adrenaline in the right direction.

So, what other words could you replace your negative sayings with to reduce the intensity of feelings? Try changing:

I m stupid to I m still learning

I m angry to I m a little annoyed

I m livid to I m a bit miffed

I m so overwhelmed to I m quite busy

I m feeling really insecure to I m not really at ease

I m so depressed to I m not on top of things

As the intensity of the words reduces so the intensity of the feelings reduces too.

If you then words such as yet or at the moment to your less-intense phrases you subtly introduce the idea that your present state is transitory and will very soon improve - just like your level of confidence. For example:

I m stupid to I m still learning at the moment

I m angry to I m a little annoyed right now

I m livid to I m a bit miffed just now

I m so overwhelmed to I m quite busy at the moment

I m feeling really insecure to I m not really at ease yet

I m so depressed to I m not on top of things yet

As with almost everything in life, practice makes perfect. Write down five negative sayings or phrases that you say or think about yourself on a regular basis and replace them with new less emotionally charged ones. Then add appropriate transitory words (such as at the moment ) and think about how better your life will be once the negative states have past.

Ralph Williams AMAC, Personal Life Coach and Mentor www.PersonalLifecoaching.biz